Seriously?!?! EVER?!?!?! I'm usually a patient person...one who knows that God has his plans, and that his plans trump anything I had in mind...but right now I'm feeling very impatient. Random comments from the weekend don't help anything either though.
Last night Mike and I went to meet up with a friend of mine.....we haven't seen her and her husband for about 8 months...and she recently emailed me telling me she was PG. She had no idea about our IF....and I didn't want to rain on her parade and tell her last night-so we agreed we wouldn't-unless we really felt that the time was right....well....it didn't go as planned....
We saw an old co-worker of ours at the same place...and as "T" is talking about how she is a little over 10 weeks pg....the old coworker looks at me and says....Erin...you have to be ready to pop a baby out pretty soon-when are you gonna get knocked up? Um-really?! Did you honestly just say that? So I politely look at her and tell her that we are planning on adopting. And that we are starting the process in the spring. She then asks--WHY? Feeling a bit violated I look at her and just said this is the path God has taken us on. "T" in the meantime is looking at me shocked and wondering why I hadn't told her. My old coworker continues to pry and she asked why we are adopting. It's not like we are ashamed of our situation-but its a private situation-not something I just share with everyone I know IRL. (Keep in mind by this time-Mike "went to the bathroom.") So-I open up a bit-and just say that Mike and I found out we more than likely can't have kids. So we are choosing to adopt. Old coworker proceeds to say...."well is this one of those situations where they tell you-you can't have kids-and you end up pregnant anyways?" I was shocked. I say: "well if that happens-great....but we aren't going to count on that happening." She says-well what kind of situation can be that bad where you can't have kids ever....I look at her and say having no sperm along with severe endometriosis is a sure fire way not get pregnant. Thanks for asking. She says-oh...well can't Mike have surgery to fix it....I said he is-but even with surgery-our odds are stacked against us about a mile high. So we aren't counting on it. She says oh...and walks away.
I was dumbfounded and so upset after that. I haven't been that upset in a long time-but seriously....who says comments like that-so cold, insensitve, and harsh. I was crushed when I went home.....absolutely crushed and it felt like salt was poured into the wounds all over again.
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13 comments:
I'm SO sorry that you had that experience. It's amazing how ridiculously STUPID people can be. It makes me want to scream.
You're in my thoughts.
I am so sorry your old coworker was so rude. I truly don't understand why people think it's OK to keep prying like that. It isn't any of their business.
((HUGS))
Michelle
My jaw dropped when I read your post. How on earth could she be so rude and insensitive. I am so sorry you had to experience that. Wish I could give you a big hug in person. In answer to your question... Yes, it will be your turn! Hang in there, Erin.
Hugs, Pep
People are unbelievable, how insensative! I can't believe she kept on. So sorry you had to go through that, when I have tose experiences I feel like it hits me all over again.
((((HUGS))))
WOW. I have nothing to say other than I am so sorry you had to be put in that position. It's unbelievable.
Im really sorry you had to go through that--its so incredibly frustrating that people cant just be understanding instead of blasting out their opinion and assvice. Makes me SO ANGRY. Sending you BIG hugs...
It's so frustrating when people make insensitive comments or ask very personal question. When I get difficult questions like that I just say with a sweet smile, dripping with honey, "that's a very personal question and if I knew you better I might answer it". I know that may be rude, but so are the questions that are asked.
Oh my gosh Erin, I am so, so very sorry that you had to go through this. It never ceases to amaze me how truly insensitive some people can be. You are a much better person than I am...I don't think I would have been able to keep my patience with her and probably would have told her off. You shouldn't EVER have to explain yourself to anyone and I'm so sorry that you were put into that situation.
(((HUGS)))
OH MY GOSH!!!! Erin I am so sorry! The nerve of some people!!
I can't even imagine how horrified you must have felt. I would have told her to shove off :-(
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that ignorance! How insensitive and what a JERK! Sorry, but had to be said...
I've had similar things said to me in the past...reading your experience brings it back and makes me so mad that she hurt you! I'm thinking of you and hoping it happens for you soon! It will!
That is so awful! Who asks such rude and insensitive questions?? I mean, seriously! It's none of her business. I can't stand it when people are like that...I always try to come up with some truly ridiculous answer, something totally off the wall, so they'll get the hint that I have no intention of sharing anything with them. You were much nicer than I could have been...I would have snapped.
I'm truly sorry. Your turn will come, and when it does, you will have such a deeper appreciation for the gift of your child. Your life will be so much richer than hers could ever hope to be.
Erica
That is just awful. I can't believe that she would go on and on and pry like that.
It sounds like you handled it with grace though. And that must have taken a lot of strength. I applaud you.
That is awful!! I'm so sorry, sweetie. People are so freakin' rude! Hang in there.
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