And it Officially Begins!!!

Our Official Adoption start date.....February 24th, 2009. Well at least thats what I would say-is official. I started filling out our application last night-Ugh! It's LONG!!! I mean I knew it was long-but I had no idea simple questions could bring on such long complicated answers!!

We made the decision to adopt back in July, when we got the original dx of Mike's Azoospermia. We knew Mike would have surgery eventually-we just didn't know when. When November came and went-and we got the official dx...we decided we would move on with adoption in the spring. So...Spring is a few months away-but we decided to get the ball rolling-and see how far it goes!

We are still in "touch" with our potential birthmom. But we are much more gaurded about the situation then we used to be. We are getting many conflicting reports...so just kind of take things as they come. If it works out-GREAT...but if not-we are prepared for that as well. I just hope whatever her decision is-she makes it for herself and the baby-not for the rest of her family.

I'm hoping to finish the initial application in the next few days....and send it in with our application fee. I had started one a few weeks ago-and then after we got word on the potential birthmom and the many contacts I had with my agency-they were in the process of updating there application-so to save time in the long run-I waited until we got the new packet in the mail.

So...it begins....and the stress levels rise! Ugh! It's a crazy whirlwind of emotions! But every day brings us one step closer!!!

Sometimes My Body Annoys Me.....

Ok a lot of the time it annoys me....but right now-its really annoying me.

This maybe TMI for some people so if it is I apologize.....

Since last Sunday night I've been fighting flu like symptoms. (As you can see from my previous post.) Headaches, nausea, exhaustion, and just feeling simply like crap. Well I tossed it up to just that I caught a bug and that I was supposed to see AF on Friday. Well Friday came and went-and nothing. But I thought for sure on Saturday....nothing....well surely Sunday....nothing. Well definitely I'll have it Monday when I get up....Nothing. UGH! Seriously! Just show up already!!! I know I'm not pregnant...cause really-how is there any way. But I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't think of buing an HPT yesterday when I was at walmart and walked by them. I then reminded myself-oh yea....not possible. And continued walking.

Ugh...why does a body insist on playing tricks on me. It's like salt in the wounds sometimes I think.

If I Didn't Know Better.....

I could honestly be convinced I was pregnant. But since that really isn't a possibility I will just go on and say that I think I've got the touch of some nasty stomach virus.

Since Sunday I haven't been feeling all that great. Headaches, waves of SEVERE nausea, exhaustion, and just plain not feeling well. Monday I stayed home from work-hoping some sleep would help with the headache that was turning into a migraine...luckily-I caught it before it was full blown....but ugh-was that painful. But since Monday-even through last night-I've been so sick to my stomach. Doesn't matter what I eat, or don't eat-I'm ready to lose it about 20 minutes later. I fell asleep last night expecting to be throwing up all night thinking I was coming down with the flu. But instead I woke up this morning-feeling OK..not great-but ok. I brought a pack of soda crackers to work today thinking I was going to need something to calm my stomach. In not to long-I'll be eating some I think.

I know I shouldn't do this to myself because the .00000000001% chance that my husband would have 1 or 2 swimmers to make it through is so slim that its basically impossible-but hey there is still that .0000000001 chance. :)

We babysat last night for some very good friends of ours. There little girl is such a doll-and Mike had the time of his life with her. He's going to be such an amazing dad. I think it was hard for him to hold her, play with her, and feed her-and then to sit back and think that we aren't there yet. But-we will....sooner than later hopefully.

PCOS Lucky Me

It's been a busy time....work has been swamped, I've spent a lot of time doing a lot of random things that aren't typical in a week....but oh well...such is life.

My results FINALLY came in after I called the dr's office 2x. He said he was going to call me with the results....but instead he sent me a letter-which I'm a little upset about-but not much I can do.

Turns out-after all of this time and after all of the times I've talked with my OB/Gyn about my endo...it's not endo. It's PCOS. Thanksfully it's not the insulin resistant form-as of yet-but from the research I've done based on my fasting glucose levels-I'm wondering if it may turn into that over time. Turns out my LH hormone as well as my FSH hormone levels are way off. They are opposite levels of where they are supposed to be. He said that basically the only treatment one can do in my situation is hormone treatment. And at this time I'm not to convinced I want to go that route-but I know probably should. So next week I'll call and make an appt. and see what he recommends. Guess we'll see. Hormone treatments don't make me very excited. Esp. if it requires a shot....not to excited about that option.

So such is life.....guess now I have answers and can kind of change my diet, life accordingly...but it still sucks. regardless.

Dr. Appt's

Any woman knows that the that one appt. per year that she should "really" go to...is about the farthest thing from fun that one can imagine. I felt like a freak parade...nurses, dr.'s medstudents....akward-to say the least....oh well..I guess I'm ok with being a learning experience to what will hopefully someday be a great dr. (And she really was nice-I will say that.)

But I degress.....I visited with Dr. Z at length about my pain....we talked about many different options, and after my exam he told me that he's no longer 100% convinced that I have endo. Excuse me?!!? Then what is going on? Am I just one of the lucky ones who has extremely painful periods and ovulation pains and cramping etc??? Not exactly...he's thinking PCOS...for the non medical minded....Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.....GREAT(insert sarcasm here)!! So I went in for lab work...and I swear I got lightheaded after they took the 8 viles of blood. Whew...that was A LOT of blood. But at least the tech was good-got it after the first poke...no bruising-barely felt a thing. So now I wait for all of those lab tests to come back.

When he was talking to me about PCOS.....everything he was describing was me a T. Every charachteristic, every symptom, everything! Scary business!! I'm not sure if I would be relieved or pissed if I find out I do have it. I mean-it would give me A LOT of answers....but it would also make me crabby that I will be taking medication for the rest of my life.

I'm getting pretty good at this waiting game. He's hoping that they results should be back within a week. So I wait...