Our Decisions are OUR DECISIONS

I was reading another blog this morning and it weighed on my heart because what she is feeling is very similar to what Mike and I are going through. So I feel compelled to write about it.

When Mike and I found out in July that his SA contained no sperm we were devestated. Cried a lot, and then cried some more. Mike immidietly made an appt. with his urologist and we went through all of the tests that he had to go through. When the dr. suggested surgery to see if there were any sperm present through a biopsy, and if so, to repair the damage that was done, at first we jumped on the wagon with high hopes that it would work. Then when we found out the chances of it working were extremely low-we stepped back and re-evaluated everything. We are still going ahead with the surgery-but still going to pursue adoption. We know that our chances are low so we don't want to sit back and do nothing....but we know that if we don't do it-we will always wonder what if....

One of the hardest parts for me and him has been explaining to certain people in our lives what our plans are. We feel compelled to tell them because obviously we want support, but when the responses are unsupportive or rude, we wonder why we even said anything at all. People don't understand that we may still change our minds and not do the surgery (unlikely-but that's why we are waiting until November, to give us plenty of time to think about it.) They don't understand that the chances of this working are VERY LOW and that we more than likely will never have a biological child of our own....AND WE ARE COPING WITH THAT! We don't understand why people act as if our adopted baby will not be as much of our own child as a biological baby will be. We don't understand why people can't just understand that our decisions are OUR DECISIONS and that regardless of what you say, or the horror stories you FEEL INSISTENT on telling us regarding adoption, we still are going to pursue it. We don't understand why you must tell us to go through more treatment to pursue our own biological child before going forward with adoption. For Mike and I, its not just about being pregnant, its about becoming parents. We know in our hearts that adoption is a path we must take. We know there is a beautiful child out there that will be ready and waiting for us when the time is right. But please, do not tell me to pursue all of the IF treatments in the world so we can have a biological baby. Those treatments are not for us....we have agreed to do the surgery and let God work and do what he wants to do. He has his plans-and we have accepted that.

Our decisions are Our decisions. You may not agree with them, you may not understand them, you don't have to. All we ask is for your support and encouragement along the way. We know that its going to be a very LONG road. A road that is going to be painful at times but overwhelmingly joyous at others. Regardless of the time, we need our family and friends to support us. Please don't question every decision we make. After all-they are OUR DECISIONS.