Monday, January 19, 2009

Our Birthmom.....I Wonder Who She Is...

I think about our birthmom a lot. I wonder who she is, what she looks like, what she likes to do. I think about how she is feeling (if she is pregnant yet), I think about how old she is and what her favorite color is. I wonder what color her eyes are, her hair....I think about her a lot. I pray for her everyday and I really hope that where ever she is she knows how much I genuinely care about her and love her already-even though we have truly never met.

If she's pregnant right now what is she thinking about? What is she feeling? What are the thoughts that are going through her head. Is she being kept up at night by the kicks of the baby? Or is she going through morning sickness and the stage of pure exhaustion? I think about this a lot-and I wonder....just for a minute-if she's already made the decision to give her child up, does she think about us?

I don't know how you can ever show appreciation to someone who is going to give you the most amazing gift anyone could ever give. It amazes me the amount of pure unconditional love she will have for this little baby. To look at this beautiful little child and say-I love you so much that I'm giving you to someone who can take care of you the way that I want to but can't. Ugh...my heart breaks for her as it leaps for joy for me. Does that make sense?

How can something so unbelievably happy for us, be so devestating to others? That just doesn't seem fair!

5 comments:

Jill said...

I can only imagine what you are going through.

I pray that she's thinking about you guys and I pray that she is pregnant now, for your sake!

Still praying for you!

E said...

It all makes sense...when I think about the miracle of adoption, I'm just amazed.

Crossing my fingers for you...

bri said...

I often pray for our babies yet to be out there and their "parents" are big on my heart. It seems so surreal how one devastating turn can mean answered prayers to someone else. I am hoping to hear good news soon from your site.

praying for your miracle!

Rachel said...

I love that you are even feeling this way, I think it's an important part of the adoption process, so think about her side as much if not more than your own side.

Erica said...

I know exactly what you mean. I wonder all the time where our birth mom is right now, is she alright, is she hurt or sad...happy? I wish I could know...but then again, don't we all. hee hee

Good luck on your profile. I know exactly what you mean about the pics. We had barely any photos of us, and even fewer of just me. I take most of the pics, so we had to make it a point to take pictures together and pictures of me. I also sent an email to all our friends to send us any pictures they had.

Erica