We're back...rested....relaxed....oh wait...nevermind

Ok...well first of all I should say this-I feel so out of touch with blogland lately :) I mean-my life has been insane the past few weeks with work, traveling, my computer crashing 4 times and getting over 15 viruses and countless spyware files...my phone dying...I feel so out of touch with the world. But regardless....I'm back now-and hoping to be blooging more lately :)

Well we had a great weekend with my family. It was so nice to see them. We had a very nice talk with my aunt and uncle who adopted there youngest from South Korea about 20 years ago. It was SO NICE to talk to people who have been through it. Who know how it feels and who can relate to the ups and downs of adoption. I was a bit nervous as this was the first time I had seen my family since we found out about our IF issues. But, it was a really good weekend. Everyone was more supportive of our decisions than I was originally expecting. And now I feel bad about thinking they would think otherwise. I Love my family!! It was so hard to leave on Sunday. My neices made me cry. When we told them we had to leave, my oldest one looked at us and said she didn't want us to leave cause she didn't get to spend enough time with us. It broke my heart. (The night before she told us she wanted a cousin. I told her maybe next year...and she said-that was ok-she could make it work. :) She's only 4!!!)

Then the ball dropped when we got back....at least thats kind of how it felt. Turns out the insurance company was much quicker than we were expecting in processing our appeal. We had a letter waiting for us. Turns out they will cover Mike's surgery...but only up to $20,000. To bad it's going to cost between $30,000 and $40,000!!! I called them on Monday because I had a few questions about the letter and she said that $20,000 will go towards the lifetime maximum IF credit. So if there are any other appts in the future that are related to IF they won't be covered. Then she proceeds to tell me that if there are any complications, and if he ends up back in the hospital for an infection, or anything related to the surgery it wont' be covered because the surgery is elective. So at $2500 a day (minimum) for a hospital stay...we said we just couldn't do it. We can't afford that type of procedure when it might not work-and we are risking a lot of money on something that isn't gauranteed. However, we are going to go along with a biopsy. The biopsy will tell us 2 things. 1-that either he was born with or without sperm, and 2 if there are sperm present in the biopsy, then we know that there was definitely a mistake made during the surgery when he was 2. A biopsy is much less invasive and usually can be done under a local anesthetic vs. general.

So that's where we are at....it's all so weird to me. I asked Mike the other night-what ever happened to just having sex to get pregnant? He asked if that actually works? :)

We are really excited to be moving on to adoption. I mean-that is one thing that we feel we have some control over in our lives right now. In a lot of ways we have no control over it-but in some we do-and in the end-we know that we will have a baby-one way or another we will have a baby. And that is exciting.

I know God has given me the strength the last few months. I know I couldn't get through this without him. And for that-I'm eternally greatful for my faith. It is such a blessing to know that he has a hand in this. It might not be our plans, but they are his...and I know his plans are better than anything I could ever imagine. He has the perfect baby in store for us. It's just a matter of when we get to meet him or her.