My sister had a beuatiful healthy baby girl last night. While I'm so happy for her...I'm so sad for us. (megan if you ever read this....please know that I'm so incredibly happy for you and ben, but I'm extremely sad for us.....)
I knew this day was coming-but I guess I had just been dealing with pregnancy, I hadn't really thought much of the day when the baby was born. I know when they got married, I told myself, I would be a mom before I was an aunt again. When I wasn't pregnant when she told me she was pregnant I was sad, but when we found out about our IF, the realization was true that I may not be a mommy before I am an aunt....cause it may be a very long time before I'm a mommy.
So today is a day where I look back and reflect on everything we've gone through. I have a new addition to our family and that is very exciting! But it makes me really wonder....when is it truly our turn.
I hate feeling anything but pure joy in a situation like this. So this is a day when I need to ask God for strength, for wisdom, and guidance. Because I obviously need it....
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4 comments:
Don't beat yourself up about feeling sad for yourself. You can't help how you feel. It is a difficult time. Your sister and family know that you are happy for them and it is exciting to be an aunt. But I understand those mix of feelings. You're not alone! ((HUGS)) to you.
I agree with Eileen. It's totally normal. I know I find I'm not as charitable as I once was. Especially when my cousins who decided to start their family 2 years after we began trying now have children. I'm now dreading the day my brother and his wife tell me they are expecting.
Ditto what the previos posters said. You know you should be happy and are in a way, but that nagging disappointment is still there. Do something special just for yourself.
I completely understand your mixed emotions. Please don't feel like you are a bad person. We've all felt those same feelings before. I so hope it's your turn to be mommy sooner rather than later!
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