I'm so in love with my husband. While I would NEVER wish our situation on ANYONE-even my worst enemy, I know that I would never be able to go through something like this without him.
He feels terrible though that I more than likely will never be able to experience pregnancy "because of him." While I have NEVER thought it was his fault-or placed blame on him-he still feels responsible. Much in the same way I did when I got the dx of endo, and was told it would be difficult to conceive. Now multiply that times a million-when you are told that you more than likely CAN'T conceive...and thats how he feels. I feel the same pain he does-but I know he in a sense feels worse-becasue he feels responsible. Last night when we were lying in bed he rolls next to me and says he sorry that we didn't get better answers after his surgery. Of course I told him there was nothing to be sorry for-and that these were the cards we were dealt. But again-he feels responsible.
While I don't claim to be prophetic at all...these are the words that came out of my mouth....and I think he maybe was able to look at things from a different angle.
"Millions of people get to experience pregnancy...every day. Women get the amazing feeling of having a child inside of them and growing. Men get to watch there wives glow with excitement with every move the baby makes. But there are very few people that get to experience the miracle and joys of adoption. We have been chosen to receive this beautiful miracle. We have been chosen because we are special."
Again, I am not a prophetic person.....but for anyone who is struggling with IF.....and the ups and downs of adoption....I look back on those words-and think....yes....we are very special indeed.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
You are so right! My husband and I talk all the time about how blessed we have been. Because of IF, we TRULY recognize the miracle that conception is...that it ever even happens to begin with. And I feel like we have this depth of understanding about the miracle of life and pregnancy and family that we didn't have before, and didn't even know we didn't have. And now, we are all the more better for it; we are all the more appreciative of life, babies, family...all of it. It was a gift. We are special and were chosen to get a peek into this miracle; to see a deep place that most people never get to go. But the deeper the valley, the higher the peak. Sounds like you two are in a good place, and that is wonderful. I am so happy for you Erin! Your baby is growing in your hearts.
I think about that A LOT--how much this has brought our marriage to a whole other level. Its hurt like hell at times, but it really has bonded us like nothing I could have imagined. Glad you have each other=)
Found your blog through google reader and as someone who is starting our second adoption I have to say AMEN to your statement!!
There is no greater joy then being a mom..no matter how you get there. I am also a little partial to adopted chlidren and think they just may be a little more special!!
You said it so well...it gives me comfort to know that there is likely a very good reason that we were led along this path to parenthood, one that so many others don't have the privilege of experiencing. I think having gone what we went through with IF will help to make us better parents and cherish the gift that is given us when it finally does happen, maybe more so had we had a child the "old-fashioned way". Many marriages would not make it through IF...I know that for sure! You guys obviously have a strong and loving marriage with so much to look forward to in the future.
Post a Comment