To a woman who just found out that she will never be able to have a baby....
"Well pregnancy has a lot of con's....so really-you're not missing out on anything."
Um...coming from someone who has had a baby....I really don't think you can honestly say that I'm not missing out on anything. Seriously! Who says that kind of thing.
Luckily-it was said on a good day....and I just kind of blew it off-but WHO SAYS THAT?!!?!!
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6 comments:
Ugh...I think the idea throws people off so much sometimes that they don't know what to say...so they say the absolute WRONG thing. I've had similar things said to me over the years, i.e. "You should be glad you don't ever have to be pregnant!". Yeah. Sorry you went through that.
People try to make light of a heavy topic when they are uncomfortable. It doesn't make it easier to hear, but hopefully easier to forgive.
My situation is entirely different then yours. I had my dd prematurely, followed by two stillborn baby boys. Getting pg is NOT a problem and yet a very close family member handed me the line, "watch, now that you are adopting you'll get pg".... Where the hell have you been??? Getting pg again would be a nightmare that would end horribly. I screamed inside, but tried to ignore the comment, as the intent was not to harm.
I'm sorry. Unfortunately you will hear all sorts of things that will leave you hurt and speechless. At the same time, you will also hear all sorts of things that will fill your heart with hope and joy.
HUGS.
People who take their fertility for granted.
Maybe someone should write a book or at least a little pamphlet on what not to say to people who are going through IF. You know, the doc could have them setting out in their waiting rooms and people could pick them up and stick them in their purses and "accidentally" leave them laying around in break rooms and things. Seriously...I still have people say that to me and I just nod my head and I'm thinking, "Maybe you missed the last few years and all the surgeries...including the hysterectomy? Am I supposed to carry the baby in my bladder?" Later, they will remember and then apologize and I just let it go...I know they are just struggling to find words and trying to say what they think is something positive; they just aren't very good at it. Not everyone is as gifted with words and insight as we are. ;)
OH. MY . GOSH.
I am sorry. People are just dumb. They don't know what to say. But you still have to hear it and that sucks.
I'm sorry.
Everything in life has cons, that doesn't mean you don't want to experience it. Crappy or not! (not saying pregnancy is crappy, but for some it is)
I'm sorry.
Ohh the load of stupid people we all have to deal with...Im sorry you had to deal with it.
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