Days like today-are days that I relish. It's days like today where I look at my future and am so excited about all the things are going to happen. It's days like today where I look at myself and say how blessed I am, and how lucky I am to be where I am in life. It's days like today when I get up in the morning and look at my husband and fall in love with him all over again...and know that I love him more than I did the night before.
How do I get days like today when its seems as though my life has been filled with sadness, anger, frustration, hurt, and cold, harsh comments-things that can totally break a girl down? There is one way and one way only-and that is by knowing that the strength to have these days and to realize that I'm having one of these days is coming from Above. I know in my heart of hearts and I can feel it in my soul that God has given me the strength to get out of bed every morning for the last 4 and half months and say that there are BIG things in my future...and there is a baby out there for me-somewhere.
I feel as though today-is a new day..and the start to a whole new part of my life. I look at our infertility and know that it is something that we HAD to go through. Why...I think it was
for 4 main reasons.
1. To realize that power and will of God, is stronger than anything I could ever have imagined.
2. To realize that God knows what is best for us
3. To know just how much I love my husband and how I truly know now that our marriage can get through ANYTHING
4. That my faith is stronger than I ever imagined it to be.
Of course I could add to that list...but when I think about the things that I have realized since July 20th 2008 when we first got our diagnosis, those 4 things stand out in my mind. I know we will have days that are hard, and that hearing the pregnancy announcements, and seeing all of the babies around us-will be hard at times, and I know that God is allowing me to have those days for a reason. I truly believe that when I hold our baby for the first time-the joy I will have...will make all of that pain seem so minimal. And I will look back on this journey and say-it was worth it-every step, every penny, every tear, every prayer...made it all so worth it.
And I know that there is only one way that I could truly feel this way today...and this is by the strength that I'm receiving from Above. God has truly blessed me in my life...and I know the blessings will continue to fall from Above..becasue there truly is no other place they could come from.
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2 comments:
Yes, somedays I feel invincible and I like to imagine those are the days He is really carrying me. There are other days I feel down, but I always know in the back of my mind that He will get me through. Praying for you guys!
It's definitely a hard journey, but as one of my friends put it...it's not an insurmountable mountain, just a rolling hillside. Just think of all of this as your own special labor pains. :)
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