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YAY for SATURDAY'S!!!

It felt so good to sleep in this morning!! For the first weekend in MONTHS I didn't have to get for anything this morning-except for Daisy....which I didn't mind. Puppies need to eat and go to the bathroom to-and considering she let me sleep in until 8:15-I couldn't get to upset.

Today-it's time to rearrange some furniture and make some more room in our tiny house. So-therefore nothing to exciting. I'm a bit nervous about taking prom pictures this afternoon. I'm flattered that she asked-and I need to get all the exposure and experience I can get-and prom pictures can't be that hard :) I guess we'll see!

Just another day....

At the office.

D&B is FINALLY OVER!!! What a relief!! But after making $48000 in scholarship money-I'd say it was a good day. For my first one I can't complain to much. But I have many many things I will be doing differently next year. And all of those are in a notebook-and it seems that add to them daily.

On a different note-I went to the radio station today. I had to drop off a few things that I borrowed for D&B. I do miss some of them dearly. Some of my co-workers were so great. I hate hearing about how much they hate it there-when its so easy for me to say-just leave like I did. But when Radio is all you've known for 20 years-I guess its a bit easier said then done.

On a "lighter" note.....A few people have told me-esp. ones that haven't seen me in quite a while....."YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT!" Have I??? I guess I hadn't noticed to much. Some of my clothes-esp. the pants fit much looser-but I guess I wasn't expecting much. So when I went home at lunch-I weighed myself....HOLY WOW!! 20 pounds almost!!! I COULDN"T BELIEVE IT!! Granted I'm way excited-but I wasn't expecting it. How did I lose it-I have no idea! I have been watching what I eat much more closely-and walking with Mike and Daisy more...but I had no idea doing that would make that big of a difference. I think a lot of has to do with stress as well. The radio station was unbelievably stressful and I hated it so much-that I found comfort in food. Now that I've changed jobs....I don't need that anymore. I'm so much happier-and obviously healthier without working there. What a NICE FEELING!!!

The 2WW Comes to an end...

It all ended.....AGAIN yesterday. I really was kinda hopeful this cycle because really every symptom I had-was nothing like AF symptoms I normally get except lower back pain. The sore BB's, the twinges, the exhaustion, the frequent peeing....all of it-for nothing. I even went out and bought a test yesterday when I woke up and the witch was no where in site. I get home-use it and of course I get a faulty test. So I decided I would just wait and use the other one later that night....no need-I got home from work and there she was in full force.
So now its on to heating pads, and TONS of ibuprofen to keep the cramping down. I swear over the past few months the cramping has gotten unbearable. When 1000 mg of ibuprofen doesn't work and clots are HUGE I would say there is a problem....I guess it's time to make that appt. with Dr. Z. And of course before-I was relatively excited about it-cause it would be mean answers....now I'm terrified-cause it could mean that there IS something REALLY WRONG!! Part of my just thinks I should sit in this ignorance for awhile longer. At least I know what to expect out of it....where as-the unknown is kind of scary.

In the 2WW...I think

I didn't use anything this month to judge my O date except for CM so we'll see how it goes. If its another BFN I'm going to go back to charting temps....

And I've decided I'm going to make an appt for Dr. Z for the week after next. Work is overwhelmingly busy right now-so I know I couldn't go in there with a clear mind and with my full list of questions. But if I can meet with him and talk to him for awhile-I figured maybe I can start the ball rolling and get some answers to some of the questions that my old dr. couldn't answer. Esp. about the pain and they cysts I get. Everything I've looked into points directly to Endo...and as crazy as it sounds-I think I would be relieved if I found out something was wrong. At least then I would have answers...and the answers to all the why's.

But until then...On to another 2WW. Who knows-maybe I'll be seeing Dr. Z for a baby instead of IF. :)

Second Thoughts....

I don't know what has been going on in my life and mind the past few weeks. But things have changed.

I've been tossing back and forth in my mind about waiting to TTC again....I know-I know-I just can't make up my mind. But lately it just seems that we talk about the future and talk about things that we want to do-none of them include a baby. WHy? Is it because we don't expect to be PG by next year-or even have a baby by next year? Or is it becuase we just are enjoying us and being just us...I DON'T GET IT!! THere are some dayst that I long for a baby so badly. That I cry when I hear about other women that are pregnant while they haven't been trying or those who got accidentally pg while using birth control. THen there are days like today when I think-are we really ready for a baby? Are you ever really ready for a baby? My mind is just going in circles the past few days.

Maybe its just stress and maybe its just being used to it being Mike and I for the past 2 years that i really can't imagine another person part of our family...I don't know......I just wish I knew what my future holds....because I'm very confused.

Feeling a bit overhwelmed....

I love my job...I really do-and I feel lucky that I'm actually able to say that-because I know not many people can. I feel blessed to say that my coworkers and boss are great...very supportive, understanding, and always willing to help out. But all that aside-I'm a bit overwhelmed. I have a huge event coming up in the middle of April. It is one of our biggest fundraisers of the year and I I just don't feel prepared at all. I think I would feel much better about the situation if I had started the planning from the beginning, but since I came in at the beg. of Feb. I feel lost with it all in a sense. I just hope that when my boss looks at it-she thinks-wow she kicked A**!! She did awesome. Because right now-I feel like it could just flop..I'm hoping and praying that isn't the case. I know it will all run smoothly...the anxiety of it all is just getting to be a lot ot take in....

Better get back to planning....