Defeated.....

That's how I'm feeling today...simply defeated. I feel like I will never get pregnant....ever. Honestly-I've thought that all day-just give up...its not going to happen so quit putting so much thought into it.....THAT'S AWFUL!!!

Where is all of this bitterness coming from???!?!! HONESTLY!! Yesterday when "A" told me she was PG.....I was happy on the outside-but on the inside....it was tearing me apart. My heart was taken out of me...stomped on-and thrown back at me. I've broken down a few times today-just cried....why? Yes-I'm in the 2WW but based on previous cycle symptoms I'm not hopefuly-not at all....AND THAT IS NOT ME!! I'm usually hopeful every cycle....why not this one....

I'm just feeling so defeated-so broken....so heartbroken....I will never be a mom-thats how I feel....NEVER!