Homestudy Number 2

It went very well. I can't say enough good things about our agency and social worker. She is truly awesome. I can't imagine going through this with someone cold or not very pleasant. Honestly when we talk with her its like visiting with friends over coffee. It's great. We made her tear up when we started talking about "E" It was a hard day for Mike and I, and we knew we couldn't fool her by pretending that we were ok. When she asked how we were doing-and how are day was-I almost broke down. Luckily Mike had it together-so he told her. She of course apologized....and said how sorry she was. We made it through without totally breaking down.

She dropped off another 16 pages of paperwork. SERIOUSLY 16 pages! I COUNTED!!! I wasn't even finished with the last 12 that she dropped off! Ugh! Luckily we've got a few weeks before the next home visit-so we can finish them. Those "essay form" questions are a killer!! She also dropped off a few sample profile books for us to look at. That was a big relief. We had no idea how to start that-so that helps a lot.

As you can see from my previous post-yesterday was a rough day. Sweet "E" went home to Jesus. It was a really hard day for me. "E" was such a sweet soul. So precious....so sweet, loving, caring, his smile could light up a room. I miss him so much. I know where he is-so I can't help but be happy for him-but so sad for us who are left behind. Mike and I said he probably ran through the gates of Heaven with those new legs of his. He ran-pain free into the arms of Jesus. I talked with his mom this morning-and she said before he died she told him that he needed to communicate one way or another that he was there with Jesus....and that he was so happy. She told me he smiled at her-a big big smile. A few hours later he was gone. My heart breaks for the family. Parents shouldn't bury there children. THAT'S NOT THE WAY IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!! I know God has his plans, but sometimes its so hard for me to understand. "E" was put on this earth for a reason-and durig his time here he taught me SO MUCH! SO SO MUCH!!! More than I ever thought I could learn from a 2 year old-all the way up until he was 9!!! That little boy was so special to me-I can't imagine going to see his brother now, and not seeing "E" with him . My heart aches, but I know he's happy now, pain free, and with Jesus.....so for that I Need to be happy for him. That doesn't mean-I'm not going to miss him I will.....so incredibly much.

Last night we laid in bed-and I just cried and cried. Mike held me and I cried some more. He knows just how to console me....he's so amazing. "E's" parents called us last night. They asked Mike to be a pall bearer. Of course he was honored and he said yes. That is going to be a tough day. The day when we have to really say not goodbye but "I'll see you later." I dread it-but sometimes those days help me move on. But it still is going to be a VERY VERY HARD DAY.

Rest in Peace "E" I love you and Miss you