"Give me Jesus"

7 1/2 years ago on September 11th, 2001 was a day that I will NEVER forget. Not only was that a day that will go down in history for our country, but was also the day that I walked into the best most rewarding job that I have ever had. It was the day I interviewed for a position as a CNA at home for children with special needs. Working there was never something that worried me-however, I would be lying if I said I was never nervous. I was very nervous, not knowing how to take care of some of the kids, especially being that I was working in the medically fragile unit.

I started working there 3 weeks later on October 1st. AMAZING. I loved it, I loved every second of it. Those kids touched my life in a way that I have never been touched before. They tought me about strength, about love and about faith. They tought me that life is truly what you make of it. And that every day is a gift from God.

My first day wasn't exactly scary-but nervewracking. I had never worked in the healthcare field directly. However, I was going to school to become a nurse so I felt that certain things just came natural to me. I remember someone telling me, try and not get to attached to these kids. Many of them move on to group homes, or move out of our direct care area, and unfortunately some of them die. I wish not getting attached was easy.....it's not.

My first day-I walked in and was greeted by a beautiful little 3 year old boy. He melted my heart. His smile was contagious and his eyes just melted me. I sat and rocked him.....he was the first child I ever held when I worked there. He was the first one that held my hand....and he was the first one that I can truly say I fell in love with. That little boy, whom I will call "E" was the one that I looked forward to working with everyday when I went in. I looked forward to seeing his smile, to crawling into bed with him and reading stories and listening to his Christian music. "E" is non-verbal....so he could not talk to me using "actual words." He had certain cues he would do to let us know what he wanted or didn't want. Our favorite song of all time was "You'll Be In My Heart" by Phil Collins. WE LOVED THAT SONG!!! We would put it on repeat and listen to it for hours....boy did that make that little boy smile. His other favorite....
"Barbie Girl" by Aqua. Oh gosh that song would make him so exicted he would practically come out of his wheelchair. Those are the memories of "E" that I will treasure forever.

5 weeks ago "E" was sent to the hospital for a major surgery. That surgery was going to drastically improve his quality of life. Unfortunately, after several post op complications "E" will be going home with Hospice care. He will not be going back to be with his twin brother, who will miss him SO MUCH, but instead he will be leaving this earth, and going to walk with Jesus in Heaven. My heart is truly breaking. A few weeks ago we stopped at the hospital to see him when we were visiting my family. He was in the children's hospital not far away-and Mike and I both wanted to see him. (Mike took care of "E" to...that's how Mike and I met-was working there.) When I left there I gave him a hug and kiss and told him how much I loved him. I had no idea, that that will more than likely be the last time I would see him.

This weekend I will spend looking through pictures of him and putting them to a video for his mom and dad. I don't know how much time that sweet amazingly beautiful little boy has left on this earth, but I know he is going to live in the heart of Mike and I forever. I will never forget that beautiful smile or those big blue eyes. He is truly the most amazing little boy ever.

So, if any of you readers have any wonderful Christian songs that would be good for a video, please pass the names on to me. I have a few picked out, but I need a few more.

Please keep "E" and his family (Mom, Dad, Twin Brother and 3 other siblings) in your thoughts and prayers. They need A LOT of strength to get through the weeks, months, and years ahead.