Men & the Work Place

I've been working since I was 16....so almost 10 years. I've dealt with my fair share of pigs in the work place. I'm not trying to generalize and say that all men are pigs-cause if that was the case-Mike and I would not be married. But typically men are the ones who start the Sexual Harassment suits that come up.

Last week I went to a convention for my work-it was an overnight trip in Fargo. The entire sales dept. went-including management. To make a long story short-alcohal got involved and I was harassed and violated. I went back to my hotel room and cried. A coworker of mine was with me and she obviously was great-telling me it wasn't my fault-he chose the alcohal, he chose to do what he did.....but I know that he would have never done or said the things he did if he wouldln't have been drunk. I thought about reporting it........but how do you report a General Manager....who do you report it to-he's the highest they come-next to the owner. I thought about it....talked with Mike (who needless to say-was not happy at all-took all I had to not let him go over and have a few "words" with the guy.) Well.....I finally did it. The man who harassed me and violated me turned out to the manager of our "sister stations" who thankfully I don't have to work with every day. I told my immediate manager who strongly urged me to go to the owners of our company and tell them what happened. I WAS PETRIFIED!!!! I've been with the company for a year and half-He has been with the company for almost 20 years! Who are they going to believe!?!?!? Well I did it........I stepped up-told them what happened....and they were nothing but sympathetic, supportive, and 100% appauled that anyone could do such a thing.

Did I do the right thing????

I met with the owners for about an hour. I told myself I would stay strong and not cry. But when it came down to it-at the very end I broke down. I didn't realize how violated I felt. But again....I KNOW THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF HE WASN"T DRUNK!!

They both asked me what they needed to do to make me comfortable with in the company. I told them as long as I didn't have to deal with him I would be fine. But here's where I question myself: I told them-that he made a mistake.....he was drunk-I know he wouldn't have done it if he hadn't been. I told them not to fire him. But to give him severe consequences. They said if I wanted him fired-they would do it....I told them no-but the final decision was theres. They didn't know if it would come down to him being fired-but they were going to be doing some serious investigations into this situation. DID I DO THE RIGHT THING??? Am I being to nice-should I have had him fired???

They came back to my office later that afternoon and told me that they confronted him.....HE DOESN'T REMEMBER IT!!! He didn't deny it...but he doesn't remember it! That is so scary! How do you not remember it! He was given severe consequences within the company-but he was not fired. One of the consequences is that he gets treatment.....and he is not to have any contact with me until I give the ok. He is not to even try and apologize until I give the OK. Thankfully we work in a separate building-so I dont' see him very often....but I dread the first time I do.

The whole situation has been awkward, embarassing, and so angering. The disrespect some people have for others just floors me.

Now...I guess it's time to move on........Do I have any respect for the man, absolutely not, to I like him...no-he's about as low as dirt to me....but I guess being a Christian-I can pray for him and his family and his kids. (He's in his 50's and has a wife and 2 kids). I'm trying to let it go-but I'd be lying if I said I didn't still feel violated.