Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Why isn't it me????

Last night Mike came home from work...........I was sitting on the couch relaxing from a long day-before I met with a bride to be about The Body Shop makeup....when he drops a ball on me....a friend of ours is Pregnant. I didn't cry-but I didn't smile either. He just looked at me and questioned why I didn't show much emotion. I just told him I didn't really want to hear that-they've only been trying for 3 months-after they were told 3 years ago she could never have kids....14 months later there son was born.......and now-number 2 is on his/her way. Why? Yes-they were trying-so yes I am very happy for her-and I don't want to sound selfish.....a BABY!! HOW EXCITING!!! But then why am I so hurt and upset about it. I saw her today and I congratulated her on her big news....inside-I was crying. Mike didn't really know how to react when I told him I didn't know what to say about it. He doesn't understand what it's like to not give him a baby. I know it takes 2 but I think a girl sometimes feels more responsible for it. When you are living in the body that is supposed to grow this child, and nurture it......you want it so much! To not have it............tears me apart.

I'm so happy for all of the expectant mothers.........I just wish I was one to.

2 comments:

Rachel said...

I don't know about you but I said I was happy for people, but the truth was... I didn't.. I wanted them all to wait until I could get pregnant before they did.

I know it took Joey a VERY long time to understand why I reacted sadly (and not happy) when we would find out about another person. He finally understood.. it's just so frustrating. Period.

I'm sorry sweety!!

Searching said...

Aww, I'm so sorry! :( It really isn't fun at all and you aren't alone with all those difficult feelings. It is tough being the female!